SAM I am, she says....

In my last post, I made reference to my submissive being a SAM. THis got me thinking about our relationship, and how it appears to others.

Many in the lifestyle have seen my submissive and I together. Many of those (Dom/mes in particular) have expressed surprise and sometimes disapproval of our relationship. Why, you might ask?

Well, she's a SAM. For those less familiar with things, let me explain. She is, in theory, a submissive and a masochist. A submissive should do the will of the Dominant. Failure to meet this requirement can lead to punishment in various forms. A masochist enjoys pain &/or punishment. You may already be seeing where this is going......

So my beloved submissive is a willful sprite. And rebellious by nature. I enjoy this. She's a handful, and I like it that way. And that is what gets the disapproval. They see the challenges, and the verbal sparring. The sticking out of the tongue (And a sexy little tongue it is...). They don't see so much more.

They don't see her at my knee, even in public. They don't see the nuzzle in quiet moments, or the half whispered 'Yes, Milord'. These things, from one so contrary to service, are worth more than those other Doms will ever know.

The Un-Community

In the past couple of years, I've seen people from essentially all walks of life in the scene. We don't hang out with each other in the 'real' world, just at classes & clubs or parties. This is actually something that gives me hope. (No, not that I'll get to play with them all. Let's face it, there are things out there I have no desire to do. I think........ )

Rather, I hope that this kink community may be a bridge between other cultures & communities. In my work, do I hang out with many plumbers or electricians? Nope. How about lawyers, or accountants? Nope. More importantly, 'the scene' is where I/we meet the transvestites, transgenders, homosexuals, bisexuals, heterosexuals, necrophiliacs I/we might not ordinarily meet.

My beautiful SAM of a submissive has 'blamed' me for introducing her to many of the less vanilla things she's experienced in the past year or so. To some extent, I'm guilty. On the other hand, without being exposed to it in a safe & nurturing environment (a dungeon can be safe & nurturing, right?) might she have followed the stereotypical pattern of distrusting what is unknown & different? Perhaps.

It is this exposure that we all need. Do I expect to convert a redneck/hillbilly (continue inserting stereotypes here...) into a metrosexual by bringing them to the Fetish Fair? No. But it might help if we brought them all, one by one. Exposure creates familiarity. And we may find a hidden fetishist or two while we're at it.

New toy

My latest addition to this new-blog-for-my-new-life is a search engine. Provided by Google (Man, they've just infiltrated everything. Keep up the good work), it allows me to choose the sites to search.

I've included only sites for places I've had at least a passing interest in. So, there aren't any sites on transgender-latex wearing-scat-play. Not yet, anyway. As I come upon sites, I'll add them. If you have suggestions for sites, let me know. Even if it is in transgender-latex wearing-scat play.

OK, so I'm a geek in many ways. Couldn't you figure that out by my saying I wanted research results in a book on play piercing?

Literature Search

So, as with any new skill or hobby, I like to read up on subjects. In this case, it's kink.
Mmmmmmm, Kink. Sorry, I get distracted.

Anyway, I was looking for resources for needle play. I found almost nothing online, and what I did find was rudimentary. I already have the book on Play Piercing by Deborah Addington. But it's not enough.

Don't get me wrong..... Play Piercing (ISBN:1-890159-68-9, Greenery Press)is a fine book. It's also, as far as I can tell, the only book on needle play out there. But I want more. More details on techinques, designs, patterns, needles. Data from actual science & research if it's out there.

OK. More of everything.

I'm told it's edge play, so I shouldn't be surprised about the lack of resources. I'm told there are classes. Maybe one a year I could make (and probably covering the basics). So, I guess there's two options left for me.

I could write the book I want to see. I don't have the overwhelming hubris to do that. Not yet anyway. I need to learn a lot more, talk to more people, and practice, practice, practice.

The other option is to go to the man himself. Fakir Musafar. He does classes..... intensive courses. Yes, it's more than needle play. But it's beautiful. It's painful. It's so much more.

So, until I can get that in my schedule, I'll practice... and talk... and practice some more. Look for scientific research. And think about a title for a book.

Connections....

Between this past week and the coming weekend, I'll have seen friends from school, as well as a childhood friend that I haven't seen in years. It's a good thing, reconnecting.

For the past 8 years or so I essentially isolated myself with responsibility. I'd do the work I needed to, then head home to do what was needed there. Not seeing friends, limited time with family (outside those in my home)..... long term, not a healthy thing. But I did it for them. Yes, my work/study took a huge amount of time. So they got the rest of it.

Now, with my reward of being isolated from my family, I have more free time. Joy.

Staying isolated, the easier thing to do, would be bad. I accept that. But facing the numerous questions of "How are things going?"... well, that just sucks. Every time. But eventually, as time goes by my first thought won't be 'I haven't seen my kids in xx days.'. Things will get better.

Eventually.

What am I doing?

So, what flavor kink am I into? At the moment, a whole lot.

There's Ropes........





And Piercing.......




And, of course the usual menagerie of flogging and discipline and such...

I definitely need to practice more. On everything. But I tend to be pretty self critical.

So as I begin again in a new setting, I will look for play partners, teachers, and friends. Care to play?

Second Life

Second Life ( http://secondlife.com ) - the online opportunity to leave the real world for a newer, better one of your own choosing. Your chance to put down your claim on some territory, meet new people and prosper. Unfortunately, the real world is still lurking in the background.

I find myself about to enter a second life of my own. This one isn't quite of my own choosing. But I have decided to step up, take the reigns with all the strength I can muster and form this new life into one I will be proud of.

Of course there's that 'real' life.... lurking in the background. I can't even say it's lurking. At the moment, it rears it's ugly head at every turn. It takes every opportunity to claw my guts at unexpected moments. I'll be tied to it for the rest of my life. And I don't think I'd have it any other way. I will have a lot of work to do taming it, though. But what to do with two lives?

Discard all but the essentials. Keep what is necessary and abandon the rest. Build around that core something new, and better. And what, you may be thinking, are the essentials?

In no particular order:
Character- I am who I want to be, by my decisions & actions. If I change that, all is lost.
Aspirations- Yes, I still want to be an astronaut. Yes, I still know it's unlikely. Some things become less likely, or even impossible with changing times. Accept what won't happen, and work around it. Maybe things will change again.
Family- All of them? No. Honestly, I haven't seen my brother in years. But there are two very important people who I will always be there for. If I'm allowed.